Sunday, May 10, 2015

I Just Can't

I've wanted to say something about Mother's Day today.

But I just can't put the words together very well.

First and foremost, I am filled with joy and thankfulness that I am getting to celebrate Mother's Day for the first time. Ava baby is such a blessing to us and I am so happy we have her in our lives. We waited and tried for her for a long time. It got harder and harder as each Mother's Day passed and I was still not pregnant. I have thought a lot today about the journey we went on to get our hearts' deepest wish.

That brings me to my second point: today I am also filled with sadness and grief for those friends who are still hoping for their turn to celebrate Mother's Day as well. In fact, that's what has mostly been on my mind today. I know the pain of infertility and I don't take this day for granted at all. There are so, so many women who want nothing more than to earn those stretch marks and to become a mother themselves. I am thinking of you all today, and everyday!!

Lastly, today I feel at peace at the remembrance of my own mother. Oddly, I don't feel so grief-stricken about it this year. Maybe it's because I have Ava now and I am a mother; I don't know. I am mostly just reminded of the many Mother's Day lunches we would go on and all the homemade cards and oh-so-special pieces of art we would make for her. Coupon books for free foot rubs and attempting to cook for her. Lots of flowers and time together as a family. It was a day of positive reflection on years spent with my mom.

Oh wait...there's been one more thing on my mind today, especially since Ava has been miserably sick all weekend...

I am grateful for all of my mommy friends. I have a great network, near and far, who are always there when I have a parenting question or need someone to bounce ideas off of. I'm glad that we all support each other!

This day brings so many thoughts, memories, and emotions this year.

I just can't even adequately describe them all!


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